Simply Hil

My Sweet Michael- It rained today. Right as we pulled up to your gravesite it started to really come down.  I was grateful I had brought a coat with a hood and that your dad had thrown in a hoodie for your big brother. The cemetery was the busiest I have ever seen it.  Cars were parked all along the road, flowers spanned the graveyard for as far as the eye could see, and people stood with umbrellas around their loved ones graves... remembering.  Remembering someone and something that is impossible to forget. You see Michael, when you lose a loved one, others may forget.  They figure you should forget as well and go on with your daily life as usual.  Little do they know that it is something that is impossible to forget, nor something we would want to forget.  Why would we ever want to forget someone so perfect, so beautiful, so dear to our hearts? I placed the pretty yellow mums I had picked out for you near your marker.  They stood...

I went to Wal-mart last night at 9:30, leaving the hubs with Little Guy.  This was the first time I had gone grocery shopping alone in a long time. It proved to be a dangerous experience. By the end of my trip through the isles, my cart was full of Rice Krispies Treats, Ovaltine (random?), Nutella, and pudding.  I decided I needed to start adding some healthy things in my cart otherwise my husband would ban me from ever going alone again.  In went the wheat bread, milk, yogurt, vitamin water and string cheese. There.  That was better. As I started unloading my cart the lady at the register asked me if I wanted to donate to Primary Children's.  I said, "Yes. We love Primary Children's."  She then asked if I had ever been there.  I told her I had and left it at that.  She then went on to say that her husband had been there for a heart defect when he was younger.  I said, "We were there for my son's heart defect" right as she scanned the...

I had a fun filled hike planned for this upcoming Memorial Day.  For those of you who know me well, you probably just fell out of your seat because you were laughing so hard, and possibly had some liquid come out of your nose if you happened to read that sentence mid swallow. I am not a hiker. I avoided hikes at all costs growing up.  The only hikes I wasn't able to get out of were the ones at Girls Camp, due to having to get certified or whatever.  So, that made it once a year.  Then one day I had the audacity to sign up for an outdoor biology class while married and in college.  We went on a hike once.a.week.  I actually enjoyed some of these hikes because we learned the names of all sorts of plants, animals, rocks, bugs, dirt, etc.  I hated the class, but it was definitely one of those classes that I learned the most from.  Even still, my poor husband had to hear me complain every week for a whole semester about having to go on hikes. So,...

Spring Blossoms Chocolate Covered Strawberry Summer Breeze I added three new designs in my  pre-made shop  tonight that I am pretty excited about.  Go check  them out ! The weather warmed up for us today and we were able to get out and go to the park.  We even got brave enough to purchase our first grill (and are still in the process of putting it together.  funny how the guy at Lowe's told us it would only take one hour... how about two evenings?)  Happy early Father's Day, JC! More on that to come a little later.   For now, it is way past my bed time and I can hear my body pillow calling my name - yes I have reached that stage in pregnancy where my body pillow is needed... I swear it comes earlier and earlier with each pregnancy.  My poor husband gets crowded over to the edge.  I now know why California Kings are so popular. Good night!

For as long as I have lived in this area (which happens to be 16 years) the weather has always had a problem making up its mind during this time of year.  In the last 72 hours we have had wind, rain, snow, fog, sunshine and sleet.  Saturday was really weird.  It started out just fine and then headed into a full blown snow storm and ended nice and warm again causing steam and fog to accumulate in the nearby field (see above). Today it is raining again.  Little Guy is snuggled up on the couch watching Monster's Inc. and I'm getting caught up on some thank you's.  I am one of those people who is so bad at getting thank you cards out.  I have some great friends who are so good at this, and have encouraged me to try harder.  I think that I would be even more motivated to send thank you's out if I had that cute letterpress  kit.  I am this close to adding it to my cart today. Something about a rainy day makes me want to forget a...

:: Toms is really killing me with this new announcement and these still. :: seriously considering buying this for the next baby.  Little Guy had colic and spent many nights sleeping in our arms.  I'm such a sucker for customer reviews, and this one has some great ones!  What do you think? :: mint.com is a life saver.  such a great way to budget and keep track of where your money is going.  and it is free.  awesome. :: I am mustering up the courage to tackle my coffee table and refinish it .  I can't decide on a color though.  any suggestions? I just came back from frantically running around my house shutting off all the fire alarms.  Little Guy had set the toaster to it's highest setting and pushed down the button.  It smells awesome in here.  Anyway, back to where we were... :: my mom bought this mascara while she was here last week.  let me tell you, it is a miracle worker.  once my usual stuff (that I l...

We woke up to rain this morning.   I just wanted to stay in bed and listen to the rain patter on the roof and windows.  Instead, I got up and made oatmeal, started yet another load of laundry, changed a diaper, made beds, designed a bridal shower invite, showered and cleaned the bathroom.  While in the shower I wondered what it used to be like when I had less responsibility.  That is, before I was a wife and mom.   What did I do back then with all of my free time ???  I can barely even remember.  In college I was waking up at five every morning (after being kept awake by my roommate who loved to blast Outkast until three in the morning... you can imagine how I happy it made me to hear "Hey Ya" two hours before I had to wake up) to make it to my six o'clock shift.  I would clock in, turn on my phone and talk to ornery customers for eight hours straight. I would then go home, start on some homework and heat up a frozen burrito (or two). Rins...

I DID IT.  I deactivated my Facebook account tonight.  The "Follow Hil" section on my sidebar is looking more and more pathetic, but I couldn't be happier.  Before doing so, I went through and deleted all of my photo albums, contact info and profile info.  I also filtered it down to just my really close friends and family.  This way, if I ever gain trust again with Facebook, I can reactivate my account. They have just been a little too sketchy for my liking lately. When I first started Facebook it was only for college students.  In fact, you had to have a valid email address from the school you were registered at in order to gain access.  Now, Facebook is too huge for it's own good! My real issue is with privacy.  How is one person supposed to keep up with their 170 privacy settings?  I was constantly being told by friends to go in and check one box or another to prevent them from sharing my info with people I didn't want them to. ...

:: family is everything . :: chocolate can turn any bad moment into a fantastic one. :: your parents were and still are right. :: riding your bicycle with your family on a warm summer evening is better than anything you could ever do with your friends. :: you won't actually die if you have to get up in front of a group of people to talk/sing/perform. you may, however, feel as though you are going to throw up before, during and after. :: your relationship with your dad can grow over a midnight bowl of cereal. :: dogs really are man's best friend and when you lose one, you promise yourself you will never get another dog again because it hurts so much.  but then you do and fall in love all over again. :: finding "the one" is as simple as finding your best friend. :: stay in touch with your friends and family.  there are too many memories that can be lost otherwise. :: some of the best conversations take place while heads are on their pillows. :: you may think y...

My mom showed up at just the right time this last week.  Little Guy and I had been getting stir crazy (thanks to the awesome weather we had been having and me being sick).  She arrived Monday evening after deciding Sunday night that she was going to come.  It was the best surprise a daughter could ask for.  She helped clean the apartment, entertain little guy, shop for groceries and prepare for the girl's night I hosted Wednesday night.  She even forced the hubs and I out the door so that we could have a date night (which are few and far between) and she could spend time with Little Guy. My mom is one of my best friends and I love it whenever we are able to get together.  She is such an example, and one of those people that makes you want to be a better person just by knowing them. We had a wonderful week with her and I was once again very jealous of my friends who have their moms living close by. Thanks again for coming mom, and for all of your wonde...

But mostly sweet. We went out to the cemetery to visit Michael's grave today.  It was one thing I really wanted to do this Mother's Day.  The only way I could think to be with both of my boys. It was bittersweet.  As I held Little Guy close to me and thanked my Father in Heaven for him and the new little one growing inside, I ached for my baby in heaven.  I can't help but think about the day when we will be able to see our little Michael again and be reunited as a family. Once again, it is hope that gets me through.

To women everywhere.

Last night I looked in the mirror and had a very weird experience. As I stood there I felt like I was still 19 years old. This wasn't necessarily the weird part as I have felt that way ever since I turned 19, almost like time froze that year. The weird part was when I was suddenly shaken out of the fantasy and realized that I am getting older. A lot has changed since then. I am now married, graduated, and a mom. I have been stressed out by the cramming of finals. I have felt what it's like to have absolutely no time for anything but work and school. I have conquered the art of making ramen noodles. I have felt true love. I have realized that the best dates are with my best friend. I have come to treasure quiet weekends spent at home with my husband. I have felt life in my womb.  I have held a crying baby in my arms and rocked them to sleep.  I have kissed chubby cheeks over and over again.  I have wiped tears and snotty noses.  I have been thrown up on. ...

It's official.  We made it through Cinco de Mayo with my husband telling his favorite joke only twice this year. What joke would that be?  It goes like this: Do you know why they call it Cinco de Mayo? Because on this day many years ago there was a ship that was carrying a big load of Mayonnaise to Mexico. Mexicans love their mayo so they were excited and couldn't wait for the white goodness to arrive. Well, it was this day that the ship full of Mayo sunk. Sink-o de Mayo. I hope I don't lose any readers over that joke. If I do, I understand. At least you only had to hear it once. Imagine hearing it several times each fifth day of May. Good thing I love that man, and laugh each time he tells it. We splurged and went to Cafe Rio to celebrate (since I had just recently made a mexican meal a few days before).  There is something about their Pork Barbacoa that is just so tasty.  My mom makes a pretty good copy cat version of the stuff and it is heavenly als...

Phew, what a wonderful break!  Thanks for letting me take off for a short while.  I spent my time stuffing Half Baked Ice Cream down my throat and setting up my new imac.  My mind feels refreshed and renewed and I am ready to blog again. One of the main reasons I had to take a break was due to the fact that I just haven't been feeling well.  This is due to my fig.  It's not really a fig, that's just how big Baby Center told me our little baby is at 11 weeks.  We are expecting again and this baby really wants to make sure I know it is there.  I have been sick all day every day which really makes being productive a challenge.  I finally got some meds yesterday that seem to help, but make me extra specially sleepy.  Better sleepy than sick though! We are excited for a new little baby, but if I am being completely honest I have been completely terrified.  This pregnancy definitely has a shadow of fear looming over it after the loss of ...